And again it's exam time - double the stress, the tears, and the worries. I always feel helpless and extremely panicky because I start to doubt myself. I don't know if I can study enough, or whether I can do what I expect out of myself. (Actual versus Ideal, actually)
Sometimes you feel like engaging in self-handicapping. I throw the notes aside to surf the net for hours. This way, I'm effectively distracting myself from the pressure to mug and the growing anxiety of lack of time. This is terrible of cos, although it feel good at the moment - throw all my cares aside and fool myself into thinking I'm smart enough and can fake my way through the exam.
Yet when I snap out of this moment of disillusion, the anxiety and reject will be doubly felt. Something like 'xian tian ho ku' right? *sob* I think I must be stronger than this
