title: muse
When there's free time, and nothing for me to do, when it's very quiet around me, and nothing, no one, to distract me, I think. I used to daydream and stone alot in secondary school, and the feeling is nice and peaceful, even vaguely amusing sometimes. But currently the utopia has faded, and I am remembering less of the daydreams - it's becoming unsafe to let myself experience solitude.
And so I embrace packed RA sessions, late night muggings (i'm a gd student!), and constant exposure around friends - I lull myself into a sense of false security. But tonight, of all nights, I crave a long nightwalk to soothe myself. And yet tonight, of all nights, I am at home, and there is nowhere to walk. *drat. must think happy thots!!!*
At least I'm comforted that I will be happy again after a good night's rest.
